Love by design
Don't let default patterns dictate your love reality. Join us for 3 weekends of love on purpose and a lifetime of clarity, confidence, and connection in relationship.
Love on default
signs and symptoms:
Defensiveness or criticism
Unspoken needs and expectations
Emotional under/over reactivity
Dishonesty or witholding
Projections leading to conflict
Passive aggressiveness, guilt tripping
Are you so over these played out patterns?
Thanks mom and dad.
When we don’t love on purpose, by default, we love in the ways we were conditioned to as children...we're anxious or avoidant...we’re overly self focused or overly other focused.
These patterns inevitably create insecurity and disconnection in sex and love. It’s really not your fault though. You can think of these default love patterns as a sort of love genetics. We inherited them. Unlike genetics however, we're not beholden to them.
Meaning... if we want different results in our relationships, we can change our behavior and get them—for ourselves, and for future generations to come.
[Don’t you just love double whammies?]
So, if you don't want to act defensively in an argument, if you want to be able to speak your needs, if you want to get clear about your boundaries and stick to them—you can, and that’s just the beginning.
Love by design can help you retire your default love genetics and design the environment needed for deep clarity, confidence, and connection to emerge in relationship— essential for the evolved partnership you desire.
Position, Company name
Position, Company name
Position, Company name
Love by design
Looks a whole lot like:
Relational self-awarness
Clear and honored boundaries
Clear communication
Needs getting met
Collaboration and mutuality
Feeling seen and understood
Let’s get started.
Hi, I'm Jess Vega
Sex and love coach, Tantrika, and former saboteur d'amour.
Not your BFF
I’m NOT the kind of coach who’s your BFF, but I’m not the bogeyman either. I’m your ally in love and a stand for the relationship you want to create. This means that I'll risk your approval in service to your dreams. At times, this will feel uncomfortable for both of us, but I guarantee that it will lead to more you and more connection in the end ;)
Not your guru
I’m NOT the “just think positive...everything is love and light” woo woo guru coach. You're a rich and complex being, and a head in the clouds approach to awakening and liberation tends to downplay the complexity of your human experience down here on Earth. I'm a two feet planted firmly on the ground kind of coach who draws on the wisdom of Tantrik spirituality and neuroscience to get you results in your sex and love life.
My commitment to you
Saying yes to a coaching relationship is a courageous act of self-love that deserves respect. If you're a yes, I commit to being:
- An assertive yet compassionate liaison between you and your blindspots.
- An ally who will challenge your thinking, keep you honest, and hold you accountable.
- A ride or die who creates the safe space you need to fully fall apart and come back to life.
How to make the shift from
Default to Design
Here are the steps:
Click enroll now to schedule your enrollment call. If the program is a fit for your needs and desires, you're in!
Develop the inner and outer environment that allows you to give and receive more love.
Become the clear, confident, and connected badass that creates the love they want.
Take the first step now by scheduling a call.
Loving on purpose
What do you desire most in relationship? Expansive sex? Deeper connection? A rock solid feeling of trust and security with your partner?
How about D, all of the above?
If you’re an all of the above kind of human, you’ve got to ask yourself who you’re willing to become to create that reality.
I was once told by a coach of mine that a goal is not a place to get to but a place to come from. This statement is a potent reminder that creating the reality that we want happens from the inside out, in the every day moment to moment actions we take or don’t take.
So...what come from will you choose? Default or design?
If you’re a design kind of human, the steps are simple:
01. Enroll
02. Evolve
03. Love by Design
Ready to get started?
What’s inside...
3 weekends of love on purpose...a life of deep connection
Weekend 1 (Sat, Sun)
Weekend One
Mind - The looking glass
Our reality is shaped by the thoughts and beliefs we deem true about ourselves, others, and the way the world works. Change the frame and you change reality.
01 Projections - learn to see reality as it is, so your love life isn't being dominated by past experiences and assumptions about the future.
02 Expectations - learn to turn unspoken desires and expectations into clear communication and agreements.
03 Defensiveness - learn how to keep an open mind and heart when the ego feels threatened and wants to self-protect.
Weekend 2 (Sat, Sun)
Weekend Two
Body - The carrier pigeon
When we’re unable to hear the wisdom the body offers, our ability to interpret and respond is limited. When we're tuned in however, we feel a sense of agency in our relationships and our experiences of sex and love become far more dynamic.
01 Self-trust – learn to identify and understand your intuition, feelings, and emotions so you stay committed to your needs and values.
02 Boundaries - learn to honor your boundaries in the face of rejection, disapproval, or withdrawal of love.
03 Coping – learn how to cope with stress, overwhelm, and high intensity emotions so you can reorient to what really matters.
Weekend 3 (Sat, Sun)
Weekend Three
Behavior - The microphone
Authentic expression isn’t just about saying or doing what ever the fuck we please. Without the ability to communicate who we are and what we need assertively, we will struggle to be seen, heard, and understood in relationship.
01 Feedback - learn to communicate needs, feelings, complaints, and requests in a way that gets you seen, heard, and met.
02 Conflict - learn how to turn “me against you” into us against a misunderstanding and find resolve.
03 Trust - learn the formula for building solid trust with a partner so you can feel confident and secure in your relationship.
Call format
1) We meet on Zoom at 9am PST and end at 12PM PST for 3 weekends. There's a 20 min break time built in to each call.
2) Each call will be divided into 3 sections: Topic talk/discussion, Coaching/Q&A, and live practice.
3) Every call is recorded. So you won't miss a thing.
Position, Company name
Position, Company name
Position, Company name
Which option is right for you?
Looking for 1:1 coaching in addition to the group coaching intensive? Love by design PLUS might be for you. You’ve got options, check them out below.
5 session package
5 session package
Not sure which option to choose?
Simply email me and we'll find the best solution for you.
How to fight smarter
Relationships can only survive conventional fighting strategies like defensiveness, criticism, contempt, and stonewalling for so long. In How to fight smarter, you’ll learn a smarter way...so you feel clear, confident, and connected, even when shit gets hard.
For bite-sized relationship
humor and advice
find me on IG @soullevellove
